ins买粉 分析开发信的案例

🟨🟧🟩🟦『https://t.me/socialrogers/』 - 3,his is Tracy Lee from ****  furniture hardware factory in china.这句话没有错,但是为了突出工厂, 好写成*** furnture hardware factory.- 偶爱ins粉丝网🟨🟧🟩🟦

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Dear Sir/Madam,

i'm glad to know you,

this is Tracy Lee from ****  furniture hardware factory in china.

we are the producer of high quality office furniture, modern classical furniture,metal furniture,eames series furniture,furniture hardware and so on.

i attachment our e-catalog for your reference; any demands please kindly contact with us. Thanks.

Best regards

.....

点评:
1,开头Dear Sir/Madam, 好不要这样写,如果知道客户的名字, 好直接写上,这样会给他一种被尊重的感觉。即便是实在不知道名字,能确定性别, 好就明确写Dear sir 或Dear Madam.如果连对方性别也不知道,那就写Dear Sir or Madam, 好不要出现“/”,这个符号,容易让客户觉得这是一封群发的模版邮件

2,I'm glad to know you.这句话是有问题的,我知道你要表达的意思,但是这句是典型的chinese english( 式英语),是根据中文的字面意思翻译的。并非表达有误,只能说表达不地道!我相信你肯定不会从欧美客户的邮件力发现它的。如果你见过这个客户,可以说Glad to see you shenzhen.或者 Glad to see you Canton Fair.或者Thank you for visiting our company!等,或者干脆用Glad to write to you!尽量用欧美人的寒暄方式,不要将 式问候翻译成英文,那样会很别扭、恨生硬。

3,his is Tracy Lee from ****  furniture hardware factory in china.这句话没有错,但是为了突出工厂, 好写成*** furnture hardware factory.

4,we are the producer of high quality office furniture, modern classical furniture,metal furniture,eames series furniture,furniture hardware and so on.这句话是不是有点长?如果要写长句, 好用从句,结构上会比较分明,看上去更舒服。另外producer(生产者)这个词我个人觉得其视觉冲击力没有manufacturer(制造商)強。当然这只是我的个人看法。

[偶爱ins粉丝网] https://www.oafans.com

5, attachment our e-catalog for your reference; any demands please kindly contact with us,一开始就谈“需求”是不是太直接了?如果换成any questions,pls do not hesitate to contact us 会不会更委婉一些?

根据以上分析,我重新写一下,看看是不是比原文有一点进步:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Glad to write to you! This is Lee from*** Furnture Hardware Factory in china.

we're the MANUFACTURER of high quality furniture with competitive price!

Such as office furniture, modern classic furniture, mental classic furnture, hardware,etc.

Attachment our e-catalogue for your reference !Quotation sheet will be provided at once if needed.

Any question,pls do not hesitate contact me. Thank you!

Best regards,

Tracy le


所以,在任何情况下,写邮件都要“三思而后行”。每次写完后,都要重新通读几遍,研究研究,看看哪些语句不通顺,或者哪些词用的不太恰当,有没有更加委婉的用法,能不能进一步瘦身减肥等。

检查后如果找不出问题,也设法继续浓缩,那就试着换位思考,把自己当场客户,模拟一下场景,设想自己收到这样一封邮件,有没有兴趣点开,有没有兴趣看下去。要尽量抓住客户眼球,简单明了,一目了然,使对方看一眼就大致知道你在说什么,这样你就成功了。

永远记住,邮件是写给客户看的,而不是给自己看的,要站在客户的立场来思考问题,那些东西需要些,那些废话可以省,都是需要斟酌的。你不是说开发信越多越好,数量不重要,质量才 重要。要让客户按delete(删除)时有那么一丝犹豫,要让客户打开时多停留两秒,考虑是不是应该回复一下,这才是 终目的。

既然有了目标,那就不要嫌麻烦,多看,多练,多研究外国人的行文方式和语言习惯,对自己的水平提高是非常有益!



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